Breaking the cycle: From humble beginnings to Army leader

WASHINGTON — It was eerily calm outside as 18-year-old Melissa O’Brien returned to her West Virginia home following a camping trip. Within minutes, storms hit the area, taking down power lines and causing destruction.

A volunteer firefighter, O’Brien looked down as her fire department pager started going off. She went outside and saw her neighbor, a fellow firefighter, who asked if she was ready to go. They headed out and worked alongside other community members to help those impacted by the natural disaster.

“I feel like in my life, there has always been some need to serve others,” she said. “I think a lot of it had to do with my childhood watching the things my mom went through with my grandma.”

Growing up with a single parent, O’Brien saw daily how her mother took care of her bed-confined grandmother. That compassion fueled her desire to give back and participate in the community.

The family wasn’t well off as her mother, who was diagnosed with epilepsy at a young age, had difficulty keeping a steady job. Other family members chipped in, with her aunt and great-uncle helping pay some of the bills.

Substance abuse was another challenge that affected parts of her family. All these things had O’Brien looking for a change as she got older.

“I wanted something better for myself,” she explained. “I didn’t know at the time it was going to be the Army, but I knew I was not going to stay in that cycle.”

While she was a senior in high school, her best friend, whose father retired from the Air Force, tried to talk her into joining the military. They went to a recruiter and discussed joining the Army Reserve together.

The recruiter took them to a reserve unit one weekend. They showed up during reveille as the Soldiers got into formation and saluted the flag. It was an eye-opener for O’Brien, she said.

“I was enamored with that sense of unity and patriotism,” she explained. “It was an easy decision [after that].”

Following high school graduation, O’Brien enlisted in the Army Reserve as an administrative specialist in 1990. For the first time, she got on an airplane. She went to Fort Dix, New Jersey, for basic training and then to Fort Jackson, South Carolina, for job training.

After coming home, she returned to work at a grocery store. She also continued to serve as a volunteer firefighter and for emergency medical services.

“I think [that work] helped prepare me to enter the military and understand the concepts of service, commitment, community, and helping others,” she said.

Assigned to an ordnance battalion, O’Brien’s unit went to Germany to backfill active-duty Soldiers deployed for Operation Desert Shield. She reclassified as an ammunition handler to compensate for personnel shortages and rejoined the battalion.

She experienced the benefits of active duty for the first time, including financial stability and the chance to explore a new country, which she said sparked a desire to transition to full-time military service.

Her best friend’s mother was from Germany and had relatives nearby who showed them around. In her short time overseas, she fell in love with the country and the cultural experience, she said.

There was no turning back; she was sold on transitioning to active duty. When she got home, she saw a recruiter and put her package in. It took several months, but it finally went through in the summer of 1991.

She said she hoped to be stationed close to family. However, her first assignment took her to Korea after she was reclassified to a human resource specialist. Being away from her mother for an extended period took its toll on her.

When she returned home on leave from Korea, she told her mother that she didn’t want to return. Her mother contacted her father, an Army veteran himself, who came over to discuss her decision.

Her father, who hadn’t been around much while she was growing up, told her she had signed the contract and needed to fulfill her obligation. At the end of her leave, he drove her to the airport and watched her get back on the plane to Korea.

She continued to struggle with being homesick until her platoon sergeant and officer in charge took notice. Their guidance and support were instrumental in her growth and showed her how the Army could give her the better life she desired.

“[They] changed the trajectory of my career,” she said. “They kept me in, and to this day, I am grateful for the many opportunities the Army provided me and my family.”

Things began to turn around, and soon, O’Brien would be affectionately referred to as the private first class in charge.

Following her tour in Korea, she was sent to Fort Lewis, Washington, now Joint Base Lewis-McChord, where she was an executive administrative specialist for the installation adjutant general. There, she worked hard and tried to impress her leaders.

They recognized her hard work and offered her a position at Madigan Army Medical Center. While she was there, her leadership assisted with the necessary paperwork to make her mother a military dependent.

O’Brien said getting the paperwork approved for her mother’s dependency and finding out she was pregnant with her first child cemented her decision to reenlist.

“It was a win-win because my mom did the best she could for me given her circumstances, and now it was my opportunity to take care of her,” she said.

In 1996, she reenlisted and reclassified as an intelligence specialist. Upon completion of training at Fort Huachuca, Arizona, she promoted to sergeant. She spent the next several years working her way up the ranks.

She went on to be assigned to Fort Stewart, Georgia, returned to Germany, then went to Fort Huachuca for a drill sergeant tour, achieving the status of Senior Drill Sergeant and then deployed to Kuwait to support Operation Iraqi Freedom.

“That was the first time I could really say I loved my job as an intel analyst because all my training was finally put to use supporting the warfighter and taking bad guys off the battlefield,” she said.

Following this deployment, O’Brien’s career continued to flourish with assignments to Molesworth, England, where she was promoted to master sergeant and supported the activation of U.S. Africa Command. Here, she worked in a joint environment with the Navy, Air Force, and Marines, a position she said prepared her for more senior leadership roles. There, she was selected to be the Army Element first sergeant.

O’Brien was reassigned to the 204th Military Intelligence Battalion (Aerial Reconnaissance) at Fort Bliss, Texas, and was again selected as a first sergeant. After completing her time, she deployed as an augmentee with the 10th Mountain Division to Kandahar, Afghanistan. At that point, she had been in the Army for 20 years and planned to submit her retirement papers when she returned.

“That [deployment] reinvigorated my passion and love of the Army,” she said. “I just enjoyed being a part of the daily grind, the camaraderie, contributing to the mission and helping make a difference.”

She worked side-by-side with Soldiers, supporting them with critical intelligence to be successful on the battlefield. It was such a rewarding experience that she extended for an additional three months.

Nearing the end of her combat tour, she learned from the command sergeant major that she had been selected to attend the Sergeants Major Academy. She was still torn about whether she wanted to retire.

O’Brien called her family to discuss it. Her two kids told her she couldn’t stop when she was so close to the top, and her mother also chimed in.

She told her that she never thought her daughter would become a Soldier, let alone make it career, O’Brien recalled. Her mother wasn’t quite sure what the rank sergeant major meant, but she knew it made her proud.

The next day, O’Brien walked into the command sergeant major’s office and told him she was staying in the Army. She spent another 10 years in service, leading, coaching and mentoring Soldiers.

She graduated from the Sergeants Major Academy in 2013 and later returned to the schoolhouse as an instructor and department chair. She would go on to complete a fellowship program and earn her second master’s degree from Penn State University before retiring in 2021.

Since that time, she’s continued to serve, this time alongside her husband, retired Command Sgt. Maj. James Halchishick. Together, they founded “Map Your Journey,” a mentorship and coaching organization. O’Brien also became a certified senior professional in human resources and returned to support the Army as a management analyst.

“I love this job, working with the Directorate for Prevention, Resilience, and Readiness,” she said. “[I plan] to work here as long as I can and to support them in promoting the readiness and well-being of our Army, their families and keeping our Army strong.”

Reflecting on her journey, O’Brien credits the Army with shaping her into the leader she is today. Her 30-year career allowed her to travel the world, complete higher education, care for her family and her mother until her passing in 2013. It also allowed her to break the cycle of hardship that defined her early years and positioned her to help others.

“Being in the Army allowed me to do exactly what I set out to do, which was be part of something bigger than myself, give back, and to break the cycle,” she said. “I feel like the Army created in me resilience, endurance, commitment, and a will to hang in there when things are tough.”

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